Experiencing from the outside

I've been thinking this week, as I've been feeling more kicks and rolls in my belly, about the fact that my husband doesn't get the same sort of experience I get. He's felt a few kicks, but he doesn't have the same sense of intimacy I have with the pregnancy. I know when baby is awake, when she's moving around, that she wakes up after food and that she seems to really like cake. Someone asked me recently whether I think the baby feels sad when I am watching a sad movie. It's trippy to think about - finally I have arrived at that point of feeling the symbiosis of having another little being sharing all my experiences (and cake).

I was at a party this weekend where I learned that some friends, a male same-sex couple, were going to have a baby via an egg donor and a surrogate mother. I was thinking about how strange that must be, to create a baby and experience the pregnancy totally remotely. They will be in touch with the surrogate mom (who lives halfway across the country) all along, but they, like my husband, will be experiencing the pregnancy from a distance. It made me want to share everything I could with them about what I was going through, some effort to give them what they may be missing once their own pregnancy is rolling along. And with babies only nine months apart, certainly I want to stay in touch so we can trade off on babysitting!