Where it's at

I have so many things I would like to catch up on here, but with the baby sleeping I really must take advantage and get some sleep myself, as I am turning into a depressed zombie. Hopefully I will have more time for blogging eventually, even typing with both hands instead of pecking along one-handed while I hold the baby with the other....

I am slowly going insane as Mini-Me has shortened her naptimes to two hours at the most, and introduced the new pattern of hiccuping for 45 minutes and occasionally projectile vomiting after each feeding. Sleep is getting worse, although I started experimenting with pumping milk yesterday so my husband can take over a feeding every day. (Pumping hurts - I have to see about getting some different sized parts for my pump when I run errands tomorrow.)

At one point this morning while she was fussing I thought to myself "I don't want her" and "I liked it better before she was born", then felt terribly guilty and burst into tears. Husband is wisely getting us all out of the house for a walk and lunch, even though it is rainy and gray out. I was so hoping that introducing pumping and bottle-feeding would help me to get more sleep, but with baby sleeping for shorter periods of time, even having Papa take over one feeding still only gives me about four hours off at best....

Nicknames

I hadn't thought having a baby would turn me and my husband, intelligent and educated people, into blathering idiots. These are some of the nicknames I have observed us calling the baby since she was born:

Little One
Little Bit
Squeaker
Mushroom
Princess Pootie Pants (don't ask)
Princess Small One
Baby Bird
Mad Dog
Little Houdini

Mini-Me is getting sleep in 2-3 hour shifts at this point, which, given my insomnia problem, means I get about 1-2 hours of sleep at a time. This has made me irrational, unreasonable, irritable, and altogether unpleasant at times. Hanging in there best I can. Sugar and caffeine are helpful. Good thing Mini-Me is so darn cute - no wonder we don't leave her out for the dingoes or coyotes, or, in our neighborhood, the raccoons.

Helping vs. "Helping"

My husband and I have issued the following restrictions on the definition of "helping":

• Cooking dinner for us doesn't count as helping unless grocery-buying and clean-up are included.
• Holding the baby when she is sleeping doesn't count as helping.

We (mostly me) are fatigued to the point where it has become much easier to draw boundaries and, say, prioritize our needs (mostly mine and baby's) above my mother-in-law's. I just don't have the energy to care whether other people are put out when we tell them no. Also my husband is back at work now, and I have actually been relieved to have the house to myself and little more flexibility as Mini-Me and I settle into a routine.

Sleep, glorious sleep

For the first time since before I went into labor, I got eight hours of sleep overnight (in three shifts). Headache of the past few days has gone and I am feeling much less grumpy...

(Not my photo!)

Mini-Me at two weeks old

Pushing it

So, I wouldn't recommend going with your ten-day-old baby to a two-day wedding event. Mini-Me was a champ in the car all day Friday, and slept straight through the rehearsal dinner, but was awake all night, leaving Mama exhausted while Papa was out drinking with all his high school buddies. Saturday Mama voted for returning home with Mini-Me so Papa could enjoy himself at the wedding, but Papa wouldn't allow it so Mama and Mini-Me dragged their way through the day until Mama snapped at the end of the evening and threatened to make Papa walk home.

It is awfully gratifying to have so many people coo over your baby and talk about how cute or how beautiful she is. It is difficult to have to disappear from the party all day to breast-feed, only to hand the baby off to Papa while she is being cute and mellow. The baby is a great accessory, but when Papa has her, people seem to notice Mama's sunken eyes and not her hot leather boots.

First few days

You know that episode of Battlestar Galactica where they have to do a hyperlight jump every 33 minutes so the Cylons don't catch up with them? Our first few days and nights home with the baby have felt a little like that, although things have evened out by now.

Baby had highish jaundice levels when she left the hospital, so we have had to bring her in for labwork daily until today. Jaundice is caused by the breakdown of red blood cells - newborns have blood thick with red blood cells, which gives them better oxygen supply in the womb. When these cells are broken down after birth, a byproduct called bilirubin can build up and makes the skin and eyes yellowish.

Bilirubin can be removed from the body by the liver or by light on the skin. We did phototherapy at home, but we also had to feed the baby every two hours or so in order to get her liver excreting waste (including bilirubin) as quickly as possible. Her jaundice peaked on day four of life, and by day five we got the good news that she would not have to be re-admitted to the hospital for more phototherapy (which would involve putting the baby in a light box).

The cycle of waking her up and getting her alert enough to feed, feeding her, burping, changing, and getting her back to sleep took about two hours, so we barely had time to sleep ourselves during this process. Very glad that she's over the worst of it and now we can feed her and let her sleep a little longer as she dictates.

So far it seems that this kid is really mellow and sleeps like a champ. Some jaundiced babies are lethargic, though, so it could be that we will see some new temperament once her jaundice totally clears.

Overheard

Husband's conversation with the baby, after putting her in a sunny spot by the window:
"Look at you, turning your head toward the sun... actually, our plants do that too... I'm not that impressed."