After a year of this Mama gig, I have identified a few pieces of gear without which the quality of my/Mini-Me's life would be severely compromised:
pacifiers - I feel so sorry for my friends whose babies won't take a pacifier. I may change my tune when Mini-Me is older and we have to go through the trauma of giving up the pacifiers.
swing - The first time Mini-Me fell asleep without being attached to my body was in the swing. It quickly became my favorite tool for helping her fall asleep. In the beginning it also worked well as a sleeping spot when we traveled to stay at other peoples' houses. I think I bought four of these off Craig's List in four different cities. This particular brand has a deeper seat and deeper recline so it is a little safer once baby is able to sit up a little.
nest - This was Mini-Me's parking spot during the first four months of her life. We had it in our bedroom when she was first born, and then we had it in her crib. For a refluxy baby it was ideal to have her sleeping at an angle instead of lying flat.
Ergo - This baby carrier changed the way I felt about leaving the house. As Mini-Me got heavier, side carry slings quickly because a problem for my back. We live on a big hill, and walking to do errands became uncomfortable. The Ergo is terrific. I also love it for plane flights - baby can sleep and you have your hands free for the flight. Now that Mini-Me is older I carry her on my back instead of my front, and it continues to be a comfortable ride for both of us.
miracle blanket - We swaddled Mini-Me *way* longer than most people - I think we finally gave it up when she was about 10-11 months old. As she grew and got stronger, no other swaddling method could hold her. We still use a miracle blanket on airplanes to help her get to sleep in such simulating settings. We stopped swaddling once it because clear that worming her way out of the swaddling was a play activity when she was supposed to be napping.
hook-on high chair - We got this initially for a trip to Mexico, never dreaming we would get so much use out of it. Restaurants. Hotels. A spare when we have a friend over. I like it better than restaurant high chairs because Mini-Me is right at table level with us - makes it easier to feed her and it's socially nicer. This brand is better than most because it has padding along the back and seat and the cover comes off easily to throw in the washer.
peapod - Used to be, Mini-Me would sleep easily in her Moses basket so we would lug the thing with us whenever we needed her nap away from home. When she finally outgrew that, we got this Peapod. We actually got it for camping, but we find it fits easily in a suitcase for hotel stays, and it works well when we need her to sleep in strange surroundings.
Kelty convertible - A friend of mine who has four boys said she didn't understand how I could possibly travel solo with Mini-Me without a stroller. I told her I could do without a stroller as long as I had the Ergo with me. And she sent me this for my birthday. Best birthday present ever! This baby backpack converts to a stroller. It is neither as comfortable as the Ergo nor as smooth a ride as a mid-price stroller, but the fact that it is both makes it indispensible. It's narrow so it's easy to maneuver in shops and crowds. It's more comfortable for my husband than the Ergo. And it's terrific at airports - baby *and* stroller on my back, car seat in one hand, suitcase in the other - it's a breeze. I've never seen anything like it and I get a lot of comments about it.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Frustration
There are a lot of good fun things I have been thinking about blogging lately, but right now I am mad and low because I am still carrying the last 15 goddamn pounds, despite running 2 miles everyday and watching what I eat and everything.
Plus, I am right back where I was two years ago, in that my friends who have babies the same age as Mini-Me are starting to announce that they are pregnant again, whereas my body is struggling to get back on board and my husband is too engrossed with work for us to make a concerted effort.
Plus, I am right back where I was two years ago, in that my friends who have babies the same age as Mini-Me are starting to announce that they are pregnant again, whereas my body is struggling to get back on board and my husband is too engrossed with work for us to make a concerted effort.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Home sick
Little Mini-Me has had a few colds before, but has never been down for the count with a fever like last night... after a day of practically no naps and a bedtime fever of 102, she was just a wreck. Today she is much better, but napping poorly due to congestion when she lies flat on her back.
When Mini-Me was small, I used to enjoy her growth spurts and the excuse to have a "nursing holiday", which basically meant I canceled everything in my schedule and sat around in my pajamas, watching TV all day while she nursed.
Today I planned a "sick day", in which I put her in the carseat (45 degree angle, better for breathing), drove to Target, and walked around until she fell asleep. Then I transferred her to the car, did the drive-through at In-n-Out burger, and read magazines in the parking lot until she woke up. It worked beautifully. Plus I got some errands done, ate lunch and even got some quiet reading time!
When Mini-Me was small, I used to enjoy her growth spurts and the excuse to have a "nursing holiday", which basically meant I canceled everything in my schedule and sat around in my pajamas, watching TV all day while she nursed.
Today I planned a "sick day", in which I put her in the carseat (45 degree angle, better for breathing), drove to Target, and walked around until she fell asleep. Then I transferred her to the car, did the drive-through at In-n-Out burger, and read magazines in the parking lot until she woke up. It worked beautifully. Plus I got some errands done, ate lunch and even got some quiet reading time!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Making room
I just finished going through my tub of pre-pregnancy clothes with ruthless abandon, and now I have a pile of Goodwill and a smaller wish pile which I may fit into again soon. I ended up getting rid of more pants and keeping more tank tops. Some of the tops are cropped, which was cute when I had a cute belly and would be cute if I were pregnant, but are definitely not cute now that I am neither of those things. I'm putting those in the maternity clothes box.
I went climbing yesterday and was pleased to climb a 5.10C that was hard strategy-wise and a 5.10B with some overhang (although neither challenged me as much strength-wise as they could have). We had a group of three and rotated climbing, belaying, and playing with the baby off in a corner. I was afraid the staff would swoop down upon us for breaking the rules about kids in the climbing area, but Mini-Me was fairly well behaved and disarmed surrounding climbers and staff with her cuteness.
I lifted twice this week, and the second time I wasn't debilitated with soreness as I was after the first session. Have slacked off in my cardio but even so, scale says body fat is going down even though pounds are steady or go up a little. Muscle is heavy.
In other news, a few months of careful charting show that I just started ovulating again. (Had two or three (charting inconclusive) anovulatory cycles starting when Mini-Me was six months old.) Time for Mini-Me #2?
I went climbing yesterday and was pleased to climb a 5.10C that was hard strategy-wise and a 5.10B with some overhang (although neither challenged me as much strength-wise as they could have). We had a group of three and rotated climbing, belaying, and playing with the baby off in a corner. I was afraid the staff would swoop down upon us for breaking the rules about kids in the climbing area, but Mini-Me was fairly well behaved and disarmed surrounding climbers and staff with her cuteness.
I lifted twice this week, and the second time I wasn't debilitated with soreness as I was after the first session. Have slacked off in my cardio but even so, scale says body fat is going down even though pounds are steady or go up a little. Muscle is heavy.
In other news, a few months of careful charting show that I just started ovulating again. (Had two or three (charting inconclusive) anovulatory cycles starting when Mini-Me was six months old.) Time for Mini-Me #2?
Monday, July 21, 2008
low low low... again
It has been overcast here all week, I am exhausted and have a throbbing toothache, I had to put my cat to sleep two weeks ago, and Mini-Me has felt the need to wake up at 5 AM all week for some unfathomable reason. Plus I am disgusted with my fatness. All this has sapped my spirit and is rapidly attacking my will to live. Husband helpfully suggested taking a road trip to somewhere sunny, but I am not going to make any escape plans until I hear back from the dentist about whether he can squeeze me in today... and then I will have to deal with getting childcare, which stresses me out.
First plan of attack is to get through today and start going to bed at 9 PM so if Mini-Me continues with this unreasonable wake-up time, at least I'm getting eight hours of sleep. Also will reach out to friends for a pep-talk today. Blech, this bites.
I have two playdates with new friends scheduled tomorrow, which should be fun and a chance to connect with people who aren't my parents or my husband.
Mini-Me is doing well - she still isn't crawling yet and gets frustrated about this sometimes, but she is able to explore pretty well just by rolling and shifting around while sitting up. Her two bottom tooth nubs are pronounced. She finally got the hang of the sippy cup earlier this week. And we had a good visit at Grandma and Grandpa's last week. She was super on the plane in both directions and slept very very well while she was there. We have been adding some new foods to her list this week: leeks, spinach, and in the next few days, beef. Yum.
First plan of attack is to get through today and start going to bed at 9 PM so if Mini-Me continues with this unreasonable wake-up time, at least I'm getting eight hours of sleep. Also will reach out to friends for a pep-talk today. Blech, this bites.
I have two playdates with new friends scheduled tomorrow, which should be fun and a chance to connect with people who aren't my parents or my husband.
Mini-Me is doing well - she still isn't crawling yet and gets frustrated about this sometimes, but she is able to explore pretty well just by rolling and shifting around while sitting up. Her two bottom tooth nubs are pronounced. She finally got the hang of the sippy cup earlier this week. And we had a good visit at Grandma and Grandpa's last week. She was super on the plane in both directions and slept very very well while she was there. We have been adding some new foods to her list this week: leeks, spinach, and in the next few days, beef. Yum.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
What Mini-Me eats
I make Mini-Me's food, which is for the most part fun and convenient (I even brought five days worth of food with me to Pittsburgh for a trip! I put it in my suitcase frozen solid with ice packs and it arrived on the other end no problem.)
The site Wholesome Baby Food is terrific for non-cooks who have no intuition about certain confusing vegetables. Mostly stuff gets steamed, then blended into a puree, then I freeze it in ice cube trays. Once the stuff is frozen, I pop the cubes out into a ziploc bag, label it, and store it all in the freezer. When it comes time to feed the baby, I either pull out cubes the night before to thaw in the fridge, or thaw in the microwave. Certain foods like avocado just get mashed.
We started Mini-Me on rice cereal at five months, and now at nine months she eats:
Fruits: bananas, apples, pears, peaches, nectarines, cherries, blueberries, cantaloupe, plums/prunes
Vegetables: squash, sweet potato, carrots, parsnips, cauliflower, green beans, peas, asparagus, zucchini, avocado, beets, broccoli, eggplant,
Dairy: yogurt, cottage cheese, cheddar
Proteins: chicken, turkey, lentils, black beans, tofu, egg yolks
So far she has had no problems with allergies, although she did have a contact rash on her chin after two days of mangos in Mexico. She seems to like almost everything, though tofu and green beans take a little coaxing. She hardly ever eats banana anymore because it seems to cause constipation every time.
New flavors we plan to add in the coming weeks: strawberries, beef, leeks, and spinach.
The site Wholesome Baby Food is terrific for non-cooks who have no intuition about certain confusing vegetables. Mostly stuff gets steamed, then blended into a puree, then I freeze it in ice cube trays. Once the stuff is frozen, I pop the cubes out into a ziploc bag, label it, and store it all in the freezer. When it comes time to feed the baby, I either pull out cubes the night before to thaw in the fridge, or thaw in the microwave. Certain foods like avocado just get mashed.
We started Mini-Me on rice cereal at five months, and now at nine months she eats:
Fruits: bananas, apples, pears, peaches, nectarines, cherries, blueberries, cantaloupe, plums/prunes
Vegetables: squash, sweet potato, carrots, parsnips, cauliflower, green beans, peas, asparagus, zucchini, avocado, beets, broccoli, eggplant,
Dairy: yogurt, cottage cheese, cheddar
Proteins: chicken, turkey, lentils, black beans, tofu, egg yolks
So far she has had no problems with allergies, although she did have a contact rash on her chin after two days of mangos in Mexico. She seems to like almost everything, though tofu and green beans take a little coaxing. She hardly ever eats banana anymore because it seems to cause constipation every time.
New flavors we plan to add in the coming weeks: strawberries, beef, leeks, and spinach.
Nine month checkup
This time we were seeing a new pediatrician, since our beloved Dr. S. is moving to Delaware. After some arguing and persistence I was able to get an appointment at the convenient pediatrics clinic down the street, which seems to be refusing new clients except for special occasions and new moons or something.
Dr. A. seems equally great, and if possible even more laid-back than Dr. S. The office is not as inviting, but we can live with that since we are now a ten minute walk away instead of a 45 minute drive.
Mini-Me is a tiny little peanut. At nine months she is just 14 lbs 12 oz and 25.5" long, which is <5%ile for both height and weight. Some doctors would freak out about this and suggest supplementing baby's diet with formula, but, as we have discussed about percentiles before on this site, it is *normal* for a few babies in every hundred to be this small.
The key, Dr. A. said, is that Mini-Me simply wouldn't be sleeping through the night if she weren't getting enough calories. And she does sleep through the night - ten hours at a time. We also had her iron levels checked, and they were fine, and Mini-Me is hitting all her developmental markers. So the doctor said don't worry about it, just continue to focus on getting some protein and some iron into her diet every day. In response we have added egg yolks and black beans to the menu.
In other news, Mini-Me has two little teeth popping through her bottom gum, she is frustrated that she hasn't quite gotten crawling yet, and she can pull herself to standing so we lowered the mattress on the crib.
Dr. A. seems equally great, and if possible even more laid-back than Dr. S. The office is not as inviting, but we can live with that since we are now a ten minute walk away instead of a 45 minute drive.
Mini-Me is a tiny little peanut. At nine months she is just 14 lbs 12 oz and 25.5" long, which is <5%ile for both height and weight. Some doctors would freak out about this and suggest supplementing baby's diet with formula, but, as we have discussed about percentiles before on this site, it is *normal* for a few babies in every hundred to be this small.
The key, Dr. A. said, is that Mini-Me simply wouldn't be sleeping through the night if she weren't getting enough calories. And she does sleep through the night - ten hours at a time. We also had her iron levels checked, and they were fine, and Mini-Me is hitting all her developmental markers. So the doctor said don't worry about it, just continue to focus on getting some protein and some iron into her diet every day. In response we have added egg yolks and black beans to the menu.
In other news, Mini-Me has two little teeth popping through her bottom gum, she is frustrated that she hasn't quite gotten crawling yet, and she can pull herself to standing so we lowered the mattress on the crib.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The mystery and science of sleep
Mini-Me's sleep patterns continue to improve, as we see above - she is now taking two solid naps per day, sleeping through the night (although sometimes waking up earlier than I would like), and she holds it together throughout the evening so I don't dread that fussy time between 6 and 8. That was the worst when she was transitioning from three naps to two a few months ago.
She has three crutches: she sleeps with a pacifier, she sleeps better when swaddled, and she sleeps in her Moses basket, which is set in her crib. Because she is getting rather old for swaddling, I finally broke down and got a Miracle Blanket in an attempt to contain her when she is in a Houdini mood. No way around it, though, she is getting too long for the Moses basket. I tried to get her napping and sleeping in her crib without the basket, and the first day went ok, though she napped for shorter periods of time than I had hoped. She rolls all over the crib and eventually works her way out of her swaddle, but then she is able to find the pacifier by herself. Today, though, as an experiment, I put her down for naps in her basket, and she slept three hours this morning and two more in the afternoon! I put her to bed in her crib tonight at bedtime, and she woke up twice in the first hour. I put her in the basket and haven't heard from her since. So I guess she's not yet ready to move out of the Moses basket. I'll keep watching for opportunities to steer her toward a less prop-intensive sleep routine, but I am not excited about giving up those nice long naps!
Strollers continued
I swore up and down that I would not be one of "those moms" who has three or four strollers cluttering up the house... and I am on the verge of buying my third stroller. *sigh* The Snap'n'Go I picked out for my baby registry before I did any research or even knew what I was doing, when I was too overwhelmed to make an informed decision, so that one was my practice shot. I did end up getting the Buggster earlier this month, which I love except that the latch on one side doesn't lock open properly so I have to send it back for a replacement.
It is, however, too big to fly with and barely fits in the trunk of the car. Looked smaller on the website! So it is likely that I will get a third stroller later this summer. Actually, if you count the Peg Perego that my parents in Boston scored at a garage sale, technically Mini-Me has four strollers. I am visiting my folks in a few weeks, and assuming I don't fall in love with the PP and decide to bring it back with me, I will be getting another lightweight stroller for travel and car trips, probably the Evenflo X Sport. I humbly eat my words about resisting the urge to multi-stroller!
It is, however, too big to fly with and barely fits in the trunk of the car. Looked smaller on the website! So it is likely that I will get a third stroller later this summer. Actually, if you count the Peg Perego that my parents in Boston scored at a garage sale, technically Mini-Me has four strollers. I am visiting my folks in a few weeks, and assuming I don't fall in love with the PP and decide to bring it back with me, I will be getting another lightweight stroller for travel and car trips, probably the Evenflo X Sport. I humbly eat my words about resisting the urge to multi-stroller!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The Stroller Derby
It is time to buy a stroller. The Ergo is great, but it hurts my back when I wear it too much, and Mini-Me is outgrowing her car seat bucket so the Snap'n'Go isn't going to work for us much longer.
I'm such a sucker for marketing - after researching strollers all weekend I am finally ready to test-drive and buy a stroller, maybe today. Yesterday I caught myself turning up my nose at a "common" stroller at Costco, and envying fancy European strollers of other moms at the gym... models I had already taken off my own list. I am not one of those types of people who has the tenacity to spend four weekends in a row test-driving strollers like, say, my neighbor across the street, but I am willing to spend a few hours browsing the excellent reviews at Baby Bargains and then just pick one.
In the end, I decided to spend $200-$300, with the aim of getting a stroller that was sturdy enough for errands around the neighborhood, light enough to get up our steep hill without killing me, and foldable for the airplane in case I wanted to fly with it. I had a short list:
Inglesina Zippy
Zooper Waltz
Valco Buggster
I must admit that I was drawn to models that had cool names. And cool colors. Kiwi is the new black.
I am test-driving a Buggster today, and if I don't have any problems with it, I'm going to buy one. I just got off the phone with the IRS (after 45 minutes on hold last week and 30 minutes on hold today) and they confirmed that our economic stimulus package was miscalculated because they left out the kiddo. They owe us $300. Zippety-doo-da!
I'm such a sucker for marketing - after researching strollers all weekend I am finally ready to test-drive and buy a stroller, maybe today. Yesterday I caught myself turning up my nose at a "common" stroller at Costco, and envying fancy European strollers of other moms at the gym... models I had already taken off my own list. I am not one of those types of people who has the tenacity to spend four weekends in a row test-driving strollers like, say, my neighbor across the street, but I am willing to spend a few hours browsing the excellent reviews at Baby Bargains and then just pick one.
In the end, I decided to spend $200-$300, with the aim of getting a stroller that was sturdy enough for errands around the neighborhood, light enough to get up our steep hill without killing me, and foldable for the airplane in case I wanted to fly with it. I had a short list:
Inglesina Zippy
Zooper Waltz
Valco Buggster
I must admit that I was drawn to models that had cool names. And cool colors. Kiwi is the new black.
I am test-driving a Buggster today, and if I don't have any problems with it, I'm going to buy one. I just got off the phone with the IRS (after 45 minutes on hold last week and 30 minutes on hold today) and they confirmed that our economic stimulus package was miscalculated because they left out the kiddo. They owe us $300. Zippety-doo-da!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Sleep tracking
What the transition from three naps to two naps looks like:
Black is always asleep, white is always awake.
At this point, eight months old, here is an ideal sleep day:
Wake up between 6 and 7 AM
First nap: 8:30 AM (2-3 hours)
Second nap: 2 PM (2 hours)
Bedtime: 8:30 PM
A few days ago Mini-Me had a short afternoon nap so she was tired and cranky by 6 PM - the kind of day where I used to do a three-nap day. Instead, I let her nurse and then catnap sitting on me while I watched some TV. It was very sweet - something I hadn't realized I'd missed. With all this sleep training and the emphasis on routine, I miss out on some of the cuddle time when Mini-Me sleeps in her crib every time.
Black is always asleep, white is always awake.
At this point, eight months old, here is an ideal sleep day:
Wake up between 6 and 7 AM
First nap: 8:30 AM (2-3 hours)
Second nap: 2 PM (2 hours)
Bedtime: 8:30 PM
A few days ago Mini-Me had a short afternoon nap so she was tired and cranky by 6 PM - the kind of day where I used to do a three-nap day. Instead, I let her nurse and then catnap sitting on me while I watched some TV. It was very sweet - something I hadn't realized I'd missed. With all this sleep training and the emphasis on routine, I miss out on some of the cuddle time when Mini-Me sleeps in her crib every time.
More travel tips
I oughta start a blog just on traveling with infants! Here's the international version:
* car seats are not required in Mexico, so we left ours home and used the Ergo. The only times we were riding were back and forth to the airport and back and forth to the wedding ceremony we were attending.
* air conditioning was key to Mini-Me's comfort, especially since she still sleeps swaddled. I should have brought more plain onesies for sleeping - she sweated through everything (I mean, the PJs, the swaddling blankets, straight through to the mattress).
* heat rash is a condition that occurs when sweat glands get blocked. It looks unsightly but it's not uncomfortable for baby and it clears up quickly (12 hours after we got home in Mini-Me's case)
* in tropical climates, staying hydrated is extra important but giving the baby a lot of water can lead to electrolyte imbalance, so we gave her a lot of pear juice and breastfed more often
* baby food jars are *heavy* - my suitcase would have been overweight if I hadn't been able to offload some into my husband's luggage
* we got a little hook-on high chair which was indispensable, especially since it was so dusty and there were little mites and critters running all over the ground - nice to have a safe clean place to put the baby when we were at restaurants or hanging out at the hotel.
* car seats are not required in Mexico, so we left ours home and used the Ergo. The only times we were riding were back and forth to the airport and back and forth to the wedding ceremony we were attending.
* air conditioning was key to Mini-Me's comfort, especially since she still sleeps swaddled. I should have brought more plain onesies for sleeping - she sweated through everything (I mean, the PJs, the swaddling blankets, straight through to the mattress).
* heat rash is a condition that occurs when sweat glands get blocked. It looks unsightly but it's not uncomfortable for baby and it clears up quickly (12 hours after we got home in Mini-Me's case)
* in tropical climates, staying hydrated is extra important but giving the baby a lot of water can lead to electrolyte imbalance, so we gave her a lot of pear juice and breastfed more often
* baby food jars are *heavy* - my suitcase would have been overweight if I hadn't been able to offload some into my husband's luggage
* we got a little hook-on high chair which was indispensable, especially since it was so dusty and there were little mites and critters running all over the ground - nice to have a safe clean place to put the baby when we were at restaurants or hanging out at the hotel.
Mexico
The Mexico trip went very well, much better than we had expected after the difficult trip to Boston a few weeks earlier. When we arrived, we discovered that the hotel room we had reserved for Mini-Me was not air-conditioned, so we got a cheap-o Moses basket at the local Walmart and the baby slept in our room. After two hotel stays, I think the big difference was having a space near the room where we could hang out while she fell asleep. We brought the baby monitor and hung out in the little courtyard outside the room, where there was wireless and a bar. Not a bad set-up.
The most significant thing I will remember about this trip is that my husband and I had a HUGE fight about Mini-Me. It started when we were at a restaurant way past her bedtime and she was melting down. I wanted to go back to the hotel ahead of him so I could put her to bed, and he wanted to push her to stay up later so we could both stay. I got really mad about this - I am so used to working around Mini-Me's sleep schedule, and I didn't think it was fair to take advantage of her adaptability. Papa felt that if we were going to take the trouble to go all the way to Mexico for a wedding, we should participate in everything and let Mini-Me straighten out her sleep schedule when we got back (which is how the airplane flight home from Boston went so horribly awry).
It was ugly. Things were said that should have stayed unspoken. But once we cooled down, I did agree that I needed to loosen up and also that I needed to let Papa be in charge more often. I talked this over with a friend who has three kids and an awesome parenting relationship with his wife, and he likened parenting to loading the dishwasher. I knew exactly what he meant, because my husband and I have gone around on that one too - we each have our own way of loading the dishwasher, but the wine glasses get clean and stay intact both ways, so both ways must be ok.
Partly to give Papa some time with Mini-Me and partly to foster the non-mother side of my personality, I am taking a class this weekend that will go all day Saturday and Sunday. We'll see....
The most significant thing I will remember about this trip is that my husband and I had a HUGE fight about Mini-Me. It started when we were at a restaurant way past her bedtime and she was melting down. I wanted to go back to the hotel ahead of him so I could put her to bed, and he wanted to push her to stay up later so we could both stay. I got really mad about this - I am so used to working around Mini-Me's sleep schedule, and I didn't think it was fair to take advantage of her adaptability. Papa felt that if we were going to take the trouble to go all the way to Mexico for a wedding, we should participate in everything and let Mini-Me straighten out her sleep schedule when we got back (which is how the airplane flight home from Boston went so horribly awry).
It was ugly. Things were said that should have stayed unspoken. But once we cooled down, I did agree that I needed to loosen up and also that I needed to let Papa be in charge more often. I talked this over with a friend who has three kids and an awesome parenting relationship with his wife, and he likened parenting to loading the dishwasher. I knew exactly what he meant, because my husband and I have gone around on that one too - we each have our own way of loading the dishwasher, but the wine glasses get clean and stay intact both ways, so both ways must be ok.
Partly to give Papa some time with Mini-Me and partly to foster the non-mother side of my personality, I am taking a class this weekend that will go all day Saturday and Sunday. We'll see....
Taking a break
I have needed a hiatus from blogging. I have been feeling a bit one-dimensional lately - it seems all I have to talk about is baby-related and all my time goes toward caring for her or maintaining the house. I went out dancing with a friend a few weeks ago, and he introduced me to some new people who, I'm sure, thought I was the biggest bore ever. Every time I heard myself talking about Mini-Me I was screaming "Shut up! Shut up!" in my head.
To address this, the following changes:
** less TV (thank goodness Dancing with the Stars is over!)
** no blogging here for a while
** more working out to get rid of leftover pregnancy fat
** housework when the baby is awake
** time spent in past pursuits when the baby is asleep - stained glass during naptimes, dancing in the evenings sometimes when she is out for the night
** considering (although probably not) a summer school teaching position
Already after a week I feel better, more like myself. Mini-Me is also getting better at playing by herself - she can sit up now, which means she can access a whole playmat of toys with only occasional logistical problems.
Also, Mini-Me has been sleeping through the night. I mean *really* sleeping through the night, not fussing between 4 and 6 AM while I lay in bed listening to her. I put her down between 8 and 9 PM, I sneak in and feed her without waking her up right before I go to bed (usually around 11), and I don't hear from her again until sometime between 6 and 7 AM. The only exception is when she breaks out of her swaddle - then there's fussing but she eventually gets herself back to sleep. That, more than anything, has helped me to feel more like myself! I actually get to be off-duty for a long stretch of time.
To address this, the following changes:
** less TV (thank goodness Dancing with the Stars is over!)
** no blogging here for a while
** more working out to get rid of leftover pregnancy fat
** housework when the baby is awake
** time spent in past pursuits when the baby is asleep - stained glass during naptimes, dancing in the evenings sometimes when she is out for the night
** considering (although probably not) a summer school teaching position
Already after a week I feel better, more like myself. Mini-Me is also getting better at playing by herself - she can sit up now, which means she can access a whole playmat of toys with only occasional logistical problems.
Also, Mini-Me has been sleeping through the night. I mean *really* sleeping through the night, not fussing between 4 and 6 AM while I lay in bed listening to her. I put her down between 8 and 9 PM, I sneak in and feed her without waking her up right before I go to bed (usually around 11), and I don't hear from her again until sometime between 6 and 7 AM. The only exception is when she breaks out of her swaddle - then there's fussing but she eventually gets herself back to sleep. That, more than anything, has helped me to feel more like myself! I actually get to be off-duty for a long stretch of time.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Round Two?
PS - we are officially trying to get pregnant again. I had aspirations of getting back to my prepregnancy weight (and more importantly, prepregnancy shape and size) but alas, it is looking unlikely. Especially when I skip the gym instead of skipping desserts.
More Travel Tips
We just got back from Boston visiting my parents - the first part of the trip it was just Mini-Me and me at my parents house, and it worked out very well - we each had our own room, and Mini-Me slept pretty well although she did have a few cry-it-out sessions around 5 AM.
The second part of the trip was a disaster - we were staying with Papa in a hotel room and Mini-Me slept really poorly, knowing we were in the same room. She woke up more often because of the unfamiliar noises (traffic etc) and didn't get back to sleep easily. Predictably, the plane flight home was terrible. I mean, the flight attendant took Mini-Me for a little walk to the first class cabin because I was rocking in my seat with my hands over my ears. Sleep deprivation is an ugly thing.
More tips, relating to hotel stays:
** If at all possible, get a two-room suite, or two rooms next to each other (we are doing this next week in Mexico). Otherwise put the crib in a closet or the bathroom or something.
** Bring an iPod with audiobooks in case you have to turn out all the lights at 7:30 when the baby goes to bed.
** Bring a tough laundry bag for your car seat so it doesn't get banged up when it is gate checked at the airport. Or least if little plastic parts get snapped off you can find them again (*sigh*).
** Airplane sick bags are great for wrapping up outfits if your little one happens to pee all over the place while being changed. Carrying a naked baby down the aisle back to your seat is slightly embarrassing.
The second part of the trip was a disaster - we were staying with Papa in a hotel room and Mini-Me slept really poorly, knowing we were in the same room. She woke up more often because of the unfamiliar noises (traffic etc) and didn't get back to sleep easily. Predictably, the plane flight home was terrible. I mean, the flight attendant took Mini-Me for a little walk to the first class cabin because I was rocking in my seat with my hands over my ears. Sleep deprivation is an ugly thing.
More tips, relating to hotel stays:
** If at all possible, get a two-room suite, or two rooms next to each other (we are doing this next week in Mexico). Otherwise put the crib in a closet or the bathroom or something.
** Bring an iPod with audiobooks in case you have to turn out all the lights at 7:30 when the baby goes to bed.
** Bring a tough laundry bag for your car seat so it doesn't get banged up when it is gate checked at the airport. Or least if little plastic parts get snapped off you can find them again (*sigh*).
** Airplane sick bags are great for wrapping up outfits if your little one happens to pee all over the place while being changed. Carrying a naked baby down the aisle back to your seat is slightly embarrassing.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
More sleep saga
(see earlier posting for the start of this whole mess)
Stage Seven:
Mini-Me goes back to gradually waking more and more often, until we are back to feeding 2-3 times a night and having a few crying sessions that last 10-60 minutes. We stay at a hotel in Boston and everyone sleeps poorly for three days. Something must be done.
Stage Eight:
Pediatrician insists that Mini-Me is both old enough and big enough to sleep safely through the night without being damaged. Advises me to turn off the baby monitor and don't go in at all between bedtime and 7 AM. Dr. S says the baby will be ravenous for the first few days as her metabolism adjusts so be prepared to feed her more in the first few hours of the day and watch for nap patterns shifting. I consult my therapist about my trepidation and we agree that I have tried everything else and I need to be getting more sleep if I am to be a competent caretaker.
So we tried it last night for the first time. My husband and I woke up at 4:25 this morning to the dulcet tones of her screaming and fussing. She got quiet and presumably fell asleep around 5:10. Will go in to get her at 7:00 as planned. No idea whether she was awake earlier in the night, which was kind of the point. And I got six hours of sleep! All at once!
Stage Seven:
Mini-Me goes back to gradually waking more and more often, until we are back to feeding 2-3 times a night and having a few crying sessions that last 10-60 minutes. We stay at a hotel in Boston and everyone sleeps poorly for three days. Something must be done.
Stage Eight:
Pediatrician insists that Mini-Me is both old enough and big enough to sleep safely through the night without being damaged. Advises me to turn off the baby monitor and don't go in at all between bedtime and 7 AM. Dr. S says the baby will be ravenous for the first few days as her metabolism adjusts so be prepared to feed her more in the first few hours of the day and watch for nap patterns shifting. I consult my therapist about my trepidation and we agree that I have tried everything else and I need to be getting more sleep if I am to be a competent caretaker.
So we tried it last night for the first time. My husband and I woke up at 4:25 this morning to the dulcet tones of her screaming and fussing. She got quiet and presumably fell asleep around 5:10. Will go in to get her at 7:00 as planned. No idea whether she was awake earlier in the night, which was kind of the point. And I got six hours of sleep! All at once!
Swaddling Trick
It seems that most books and products out there assume that babies will only be swaddled for the first few months of life, but Mini-Me is over seven months old and she still benefits from being swaddled during naps and nighttime. This has gotten to be tricky as she has gotten older and bigger and stronger. With the next baby I plan to try the Miracle Blanket, but in the meantime I have learned a trick that is the same concept and has worked like a charm.
In the words of the person who shared this gem with me:
And the very first time I tried it, Mini-Me napped for over three hours! She hasn't gotten out of it yet, though she has kicked the bottom part of the blanket off her feet.
In the words of the person who shared this gem with me:
I swaddled my baby for a while much past her houdini stage. I never used fancy blankets. What I did was this: Triangle a blanket and put the long point down, place baby with head just above straight edge. Take one pointed corner and place over baby's arm, but then lift your baby and put the rest of the pointed side under baby's back. Do the same thing with the other side. At this point it will look like your baby has arm wraps and the majority of the blanket is underneath him/her. Then take a second blanket and put it over baby's belly, and wrap it under/around your baby. you can make the arms as loose or tight as you want. Good Luck!
And the very first time I tried it, Mini-Me napped for over three hours! She hasn't gotten out of it yet, though she has kicked the bottom part of the blanket off her feet.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Almost
Today I was almost "that" mother who showed up at daycare, late, with her kid dressed in pajamas that say "Baby's First Christmas" on them.... even though it's April.
But I managed to change her into daytime clothes and was still only five minutes late to Pilates class.
But I managed to change her into daytime clothes and was still only five minutes late to Pilates class.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Lean baby
Papa doesn't like this photo of Mini-Me... he says it makes her look fat, which the therapist in me believes is him projecting his own issues with his weight onto her. It's true that she does have his chubby cheeks... but check out how lean the rest of her is!
Better living through telemetry
I had an insomniac night recently and stumbled across Trixie Tracker, which, as one review writes, is like "crack for Type-A parents". I initially planned to use it just for sleep tracking, but I'm also monitoring nursing and solid food meals. I sent my parents a guest password, in an effort to avoid having to detail the baby's meals every time I call home. Here's the data I've got so far after three days of tracking Mini-Me's sleep. Blue is asleep, yellow is awake, and the grayscale bar at the top is a probability map of sleep patterns (black = 100% probability of asleep, white = 100% probability of awake).
The Sleep Saga
I have been meaning to check in and update about the sleep struggles and triumphs we have had lately, but I've waited so long at this point that it feels too long to detail... here's the summary:
Stage One: Mini-Me gradually gets less and less reliable at napping, and finally has a week with no naps at all. We are all exhausted and cranky. This kicks in around 4.5 months. A good friend lends us Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child and we dig in eagerly.
Stage Two: We enact a rigid sleep schedule, making the following changes: sleeping and napping swaddled in the crib (no more swing), bedtime at 8, first nap within 90 minutes of waking up in the morning. We aim for naps at 9 AM, 1 PM, and 5 PM (just for an hour) if the first two naps go poorly.
Stage Three: Visiting friends in a tiny apartment with no crib. Mini-Me gradually starts waking up more frequently, and I nurse on demand so she won't wake everybody up. Growth spurt kicks in on last day and I am waking up every hour with her. Five days after we return home I end up severely sleep deprived and dysfunctional. Fall asleep standing up against a doorframe. Have abandonment dreams about the pediatrician. End up in her office in tears. She tells me it is time for Mini-Me to learn to sleep through the night. Dr. S. is my hero.
Stage Four: Sleep training start. New rules: bedtime at 8, dream feed at 11, no feeding after that. Do not reward baby for fussing with feeding. Let the baby cry for up to an hour, try to comfort her without picking her up if possible. Mini-Me is not happy but we stick with it. Pediatrician has promised progress after 3-4 days.
Stage Five: On fifth night of being kept up by baby crying all night, feel worse than before. Swear in the night about pediatrician being full of shit. Stick with it for five more days, but cheat and feed baby a few times in order to finally get back to sleep. Staying up late enough to do dream feed is getting harder and seems counterintuitive, denying myself sleep in order to get a good night's sleep later.
Stage Six: Decide to feed Mini-Me the first time she cries in the night, but not after. Mini-Me moves back to very reasonable pattern of feeding once in the night, usually sandwiched between two five-hour sleep shifts.
So, the even shorter version of this is that we tweaked the napping schedule, fixed it, and the nighttime schedule broke down. It took seven weeks for the whole cycle to right itself.
Stage One: Mini-Me gradually gets less and less reliable at napping, and finally has a week with no naps at all. We are all exhausted and cranky. This kicks in around 4.5 months. A good friend lends us Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child and we dig in eagerly.
Stage Two: We enact a rigid sleep schedule, making the following changes: sleeping and napping swaddled in the crib (no more swing), bedtime at 8, first nap within 90 minutes of waking up in the morning. We aim for naps at 9 AM, 1 PM, and 5 PM (just for an hour) if the first two naps go poorly.
Stage Three: Visiting friends in a tiny apartment with no crib. Mini-Me gradually starts waking up more frequently, and I nurse on demand so she won't wake everybody up. Growth spurt kicks in on last day and I am waking up every hour with her. Five days after we return home I end up severely sleep deprived and dysfunctional. Fall asleep standing up against a doorframe. Have abandonment dreams about the pediatrician. End up in her office in tears. She tells me it is time for Mini-Me to learn to sleep through the night. Dr. S. is my hero.
Stage Four: Sleep training start. New rules: bedtime at 8, dream feed at 11, no feeding after that. Do not reward baby for fussing with feeding. Let the baby cry for up to an hour, try to comfort her without picking her up if possible. Mini-Me is not happy but we stick with it. Pediatrician has promised progress after 3-4 days.
Stage Five: On fifth night of being kept up by baby crying all night, feel worse than before. Swear in the night about pediatrician being full of shit. Stick with it for five more days, but cheat and feed baby a few times in order to finally get back to sleep. Staying up late enough to do dream feed is getting harder and seems counterintuitive, denying myself sleep in order to get a good night's sleep later.
Stage Six: Decide to feed Mini-Me the first time she cries in the night, but not after. Mini-Me moves back to very reasonable pattern of feeding once in the night, usually sandwiched between two five-hour sleep shifts.
So, the even shorter version of this is that we tweaked the napping schedule, fixed it, and the nighttime schedule broke down. It took seven weeks for the whole cycle to right itself.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
More travel tips
We just got back from a week visiting friends in DC, with more observations about how to make it work with Mini-Me on the go:
* we were staying in very small quarters - sharing a one-bedroom apartment with dividing walls instead of doors. Having our own space and time was very important, so we implemented the tradition of the bedtime walk, just the two of us without our hosts. We also scheduled some morning naps in the lounge of the apartment building, with Mini-Me sleeping in her stroller and Mama playing computer games or reading.
* now that Mini-Me is "sleep trained", it is not so important where she sleeps as much as when. We got off cycle when we flew in and it took about two days to recover, but after that, she would nap pretty much wherever we plopped her down - packing box, swing, stroller, on the bed - as long as we watched for signs of tiredness. The new rule of thumb is: go by the baby or by the clock, whichever comes first.
* the inclusion of a spoon in the restaurant toys buys us about a half an hour during meals out. We carried an extra lanyard and slipknotted it around Mini-Me's spoon so it wouldn't end up on the floor. Spoon-banging on the table may be annoying to the people sitting around you, but it is at least cuter than fussing and crying.
* we flew with the stroller and car seat for the first time. I imagine different airlines have different policies, but on Jetblue infants flying get a stroller and car seat checked for free, even if they are lap infants. Get claim checks for both right when you get to the gate so you can pre-board without delay. You have to collapse the stroller yourself at the end of the jetway right before you get on the plane. Click all the car seat straps together to make sure nothing is loose. Also you have to send the car seat and stroller through the X-ray machine, so if your Mini-Me is sleeping in it when you go through the security line you are out of luck.
Despite the difficulties (and the fact that Mini-Me had her six month growth spurt our last night there) we had a great trip. Our friends got along with Mini-Me really well, and Mama enjoyed getting to hand her for meals or a leisurely shower.
* we were staying in very small quarters - sharing a one-bedroom apartment with dividing walls instead of doors. Having our own space and time was very important, so we implemented the tradition of the bedtime walk, just the two of us without our hosts. We also scheduled some morning naps in the lounge of the apartment building, with Mini-Me sleeping in her stroller and Mama playing computer games or reading.
* now that Mini-Me is "sleep trained", it is not so important where she sleeps as much as when. We got off cycle when we flew in and it took about two days to recover, but after that, she would nap pretty much wherever we plopped her down - packing box, swing, stroller, on the bed - as long as we watched for signs of tiredness. The new rule of thumb is: go by the baby or by the clock, whichever comes first.
* the inclusion of a spoon in the restaurant toys buys us about a half an hour during meals out. We carried an extra lanyard and slipknotted it around Mini-Me's spoon so it wouldn't end up on the floor. Spoon-banging on the table may be annoying to the people sitting around you, but it is at least cuter than fussing and crying.
* we flew with the stroller and car seat for the first time. I imagine different airlines have different policies, but on Jetblue infants flying get a stroller and car seat checked for free, even if they are lap infants. Get claim checks for both right when you get to the gate so you can pre-board without delay. You have to collapse the stroller yourself at the end of the jetway right before you get on the plane. Click all the car seat straps together to make sure nothing is loose. Also you have to send the car seat and stroller through the X-ray machine, so if your Mini-Me is sleeping in it when you go through the security line you are out of luck.
Despite the difficulties (and the fact that Mini-Me had her six month growth spurt our last night there) we had a great trip. Our friends got along with Mini-Me really well, and Mama enjoyed getting to hand her for meals or a leisurely shower.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Sharing
After a very social evening in which Mini-Me was pushed to her limits, and a car ride home full of bickering, Papa announced that he would handle bedtime with Mini-Me tonight. I fixed him a bottle, laid out the swaddling stuff the way I always do it, and left them to it. It feels very unsettling to be sharing this ritual with him, because it's always been my job. It seems childish to get hung up on claiming bedtime as my domain - sure, Mini-Me's care is my full-time job, but she is our kid, after all. In thinking about it, I realized that I feel usurped and a little fearful that I can be easily replaced in Mini-Me's life. Rationally, I know it's silly, but I just don't feel like sharing sometimes.
It's unfair to Papa - this morning, when Mini-Me woke me up before I was ready and the cat jumped all over me after spilling all my stuff off the night table and I felt put-upon by every member of this household, he listened to how I was doing and acknowledged that I'm feeling stretched too thin. Taking bedtime off my hands should be a treat, right?
I think I'll go play in the stained glass studio for a while and see if that helps.
It's unfair to Papa - this morning, when Mini-Me woke me up before I was ready and the cat jumped all over me after spilling all my stuff off the night table and I felt put-upon by every member of this household, he listened to how I was doing and acknowledged that I'm feeling stretched too thin. Taking bedtime off my hands should be a treat, right?
I think I'll go play in the stained glass studio for a while and see if that helps.
Looking back
A pair of very good friends had a baby about a week ago. After the initial phone call that first day, I waited impatiently to call them since I wanted to hear all the details of the labor and birth and the first week home. With the three of them on my mind all week, I have been thinking back to that first week we brought Mini-Me home: how new everything was, how perfect the baby was, how lucky we felt in our new family. Every new phase with Mini-Me is better than the last, but there is something magic about bringing the new baby home that fades after the first few weeks. That's when sleep deprivation sets in, the phone stops ringing, and the supply of frozen meals gives out.
Welcome to the world, Elizabeth!
Welcome to the world, Elizabeth!
Sleep mess continued
So, it only took a few days to straighten out Mini-Me's nap schedule - she now goes down, easily in her crib, at 9 AM and 1 PM and sometimes around 4:30 or 5 depending on how the other naps go. Bedtime at 8 PM, and we usually go out for a walk during that last hour to distract her and keep her awake.
She's been in a much better mood with this new sleep schedule; I, unfortunately, have been having a harder time. With the new earlier bedtime, I have been losing sleep since I still stay awake until 10 or 11. Also Mini-Me has added a second feeding in the nighttime (I assume as a result of the shift in sleep schedule), and even though she's barely awake for 15 minutes of feeding and burping, the interruptions in my own sleep are just killing me. I went from getting two rounds of five hours to three rounds of three hours, and the difference has had a real effect on my energy and my mood.
At 6:30 this morning, the baby started fussing, the cat started knocking things off tables to get some attention, and my husband rolled over to cuddle me which resulted in his CPAP machine blowing a blast of cold air down my neck. Between the three of them I am feeling overneeded and dragged down.
Fortunately Mini-Me and I are traveling this week to see some friends cross-country, and I think the break will do us some good.
I will consult the sleep book about how to eliminate a nighttime feeding, and implement that when we are back from our trip.
She's been in a much better mood with this new sleep schedule; I, unfortunately, have been having a harder time. With the new earlier bedtime, I have been losing sleep since I still stay awake until 10 or 11. Also Mini-Me has added a second feeding in the nighttime (I assume as a result of the shift in sleep schedule), and even though she's barely awake for 15 minutes of feeding and burping, the interruptions in my own sleep are just killing me. I went from getting two rounds of five hours to three rounds of three hours, and the difference has had a real effect on my energy and my mood.
At 6:30 this morning, the baby started fussing, the cat started knocking things off tables to get some attention, and my husband rolled over to cuddle me which resulted in his CPAP machine blowing a blast of cold air down my neck. Between the three of them I am feeling overneeded and dragged down.
Fortunately Mini-Me and I are traveling this week to see some friends cross-country, and I think the break will do us some good.
I will consult the sleep book about how to eliminate a nighttime feeding, and implement that when we are back from our trip.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
The mess we've gotten into
If I could do it all again, I would read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child from cover to cover while I was still pregnant. I am blessed since Mini-Me settled very quickly into a totally acceptable sleeping pattern at night: 4-6 hours of sleep, a round of nursing and rocking that lasted anywhere from ten minutes to one hour, then another 4-6 hours of sleep. Naps have been haphazard, which has been the growing problem for the last month or two. The swing, which was always my failsafe, has even stopped working, and now I'm feeling totally stuck, exhausted, guilty for not doing better, and resentful because Mini-Me takes, at best, ineffective naps most of the time now. It seems like a two hour nap is a matter of luck over anything else.
So, I've been flipping through the book and so far a few points have stuck out:
* the book has given me the courage to let Mini-Me cry for longer periods of time (we had a disastrous experiment with "cry-it-out" a few months ago and I've been hesitant to take the hard line on this since then.)
* we will all be happier and healthier if we establish a structure of naptimes, all happier and healthier except me, who feels resentful that my schedule will be slave to Mini-Me's naptimes
* according to the author, daytime and nighttime sleep are different parts of the brain, so whipping naptimes into shape does not mean that I have to ditch the nighttime routine, which has almost always worked very well.
So my project for the week: schedule around naptimes for a whole week, let Mini-Me cry (for up to an hour if she goes that long), spend the time in my stained glass studio without the monitor turned on, so I can't hear her. Look forward to getting a shower every day.
Since Mini-Me normally naps (or, used to nap) in her swing, I'll keep her in the swing this week - we are visiting friends in a few weeks, and she will probably sleep in a swing there full-time. Will transition her to the crib when we get back.
All this concern about sleep training while dealing with a fussy baby has made me cranky and sad.
So, I've been flipping through the book and so far a few points have stuck out:
* the book has given me the courage to let Mini-Me cry for longer periods of time (we had a disastrous experiment with "cry-it-out" a few months ago and I've been hesitant to take the hard line on this since then.)
* we will all be happier and healthier if we establish a structure of naptimes, all happier and healthier except me, who feels resentful that my schedule will be slave to Mini-Me's naptimes
* according to the author, daytime and nighttime sleep are different parts of the brain, so whipping naptimes into shape does not mean that I have to ditch the nighttime routine, which has almost always worked very well.
So my project for the week: schedule around naptimes for a whole week, let Mini-Me cry (for up to an hour if she goes that long), spend the time in my stained glass studio without the monitor turned on, so I can't hear her. Look forward to getting a shower every day.
Since Mini-Me normally naps (or, used to nap) in her swing, I'll keep her in the swing this week - we are visiting friends in a few weeks, and she will probably sleep in a swing there full-time. Will transition her to the crib when we get back.
All this concern about sleep training while dealing with a fussy baby has made me cranky and sad.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Time alone
It's been almost six months, and still I hesitate when it's time to turn around and walk out of the childcare center at the gym, leaving Mini-Me in someone else's arms. And as grateful as I am for the Sunday afternoons when Mini-Me and Papa go off together and give me some time alone, the sheer stillness in the house when I'm here all by myself is a little overwhelming.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Pumping tricks
When I was visiting my parents a few weeks ago, I started having problems with pumping. I knew my breast was full, but I couldn't get more than a few drops out with the pump I was using. I was frustrated and concerned for about a week, which made the problem worse, I'm sure.
The books all say it's helpful to keep a photo of your baby close by if you pump at work. I was surprised by how effective visualization was for me - I could go from dry to spurting in less than a minute. Since I never seem to get engorged anymore the way I used to, these things keep me able to pump almost the same volume as I did before:
* having Mini-Me close by while pumping, particularly when she's in a good mood.
* photos of Mini-Me, especially when she's looking at the camera
* photos of me nursing Mini-Me
* video of Mini-Me
* imagining the feeling of her weight on my arm and the pinch as she latches on while nursing
If I did have to pump at an office location, I think I would have my husband video us nursing over my shoulder, so the camera sees what I see.
The books all say it's helpful to keep a photo of your baby close by if you pump at work. I was surprised by how effective visualization was for me - I could go from dry to spurting in less than a minute. Since I never seem to get engorged anymore the way I used to, these things keep me able to pump almost the same volume as I did before:
* having Mini-Me close by while pumping, particularly when she's in a good mood.
* photos of Mini-Me, especially when she's looking at the camera
* photos of me nursing Mini-Me
* video of Mini-Me
* imagining the feeling of her weight on my arm and the pinch as she latches on while nursing
If I did have to pump at an office location, I think I would have my husband video us nursing over my shoulder, so the camera sees what I see.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
With sadness I finally bit the bullet and canceled my membership at the climbing gym today, after almost eight years of continuous membership. Climbing with baby in tow just got to be too difficult, since I had to plan around meeting up with someone who is Mini-Me-friendly for bouldering, and two people (one to belay, one to babysit) in order to climb the tall walls. Like so many, I found my monthly fee divided over fewer and fewer trips to the gym until it was clear it would be cheaper to pay by the visit rather than by the month.
Good news, though, another Mama in my neighborhood has pointed me towards a gym that has loads of classes, free parking, and childcare. It will be a new phase in motherhood, leaving Mini-Me with total strangers, but I am determined to get myself back in shape and I think it will be good for Mini-Me to get used to being around other people. I've learned over the past month or so that I need to have some accountability if I am going to manage regular workouts, so paying for classes on a schedule will help, I hope.
Another thing that has changed my perspective about being out and about with Mini-Me is our new Ergo carrier. At first I was just excited that I had the newest gadget like all the other Mamas on the block, but after using it for a few weeks I am totally hooked. I'm so glad I got it before our trip cross-country too, because it was a terrific help at the airport to have both hands free and Mini-Me secure as I juggled luggage, boarding passes, laptop, and shoes at the security line.
Mini-Me turns five months tomorrow, and one of our new things for March is solid food (!). Rice cereal is the first step...
Good news, though, another Mama in my neighborhood has pointed me towards a gym that has loads of classes, free parking, and childcare. It will be a new phase in motherhood, leaving Mini-Me with total strangers, but I am determined to get myself back in shape and I think it will be good for Mini-Me to get used to being around other people. I've learned over the past month or so that I need to have some accountability if I am going to manage regular workouts, so paying for classes on a schedule will help, I hope.
Another thing that has changed my perspective about being out and about with Mini-Me is our new Ergo carrier. At first I was just excited that I had the newest gadget like all the other Mamas on the block, but after using it for a few weeks I am totally hooked. I'm so glad I got it before our trip cross-country too, because it was a terrific help at the airport to have both hands free and Mini-Me secure as I juggled luggage, boarding passes, laptop, and shoes at the security line.
Mini-Me turns five months tomorrow, and one of our new things for March is solid food (!). Rice cereal is the first step...
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My internet dream
I dream of finding a spot like Yelp! that has listing just for parents with kids. If I were not so busy and exhausted from having a kid I would start one myself. It would specifically review restaurants on their changing facilities, wait times, and waitstaff attitudes about breastfeeding. It would review gyms on their childcare staff and facilities instead of whether people wipe their sweat off the weights machines. I would use it to find out where the best used clothes stores are so I could buy hats from Hanna Andersson for under $5.
I haven't been able to get back to sleep after mid-night nursing. Since I am at my parents' house, I am not too worried about it because I know I can get a nap later in the day while they play with the baby. I am sitting here thinking about how much I am yearning for family support when I am at home. Not only am I sad that my parents and my darling offspring can't be closer, but I do envy my friends who get to go to the gym whenever they want because they have a cadre of people to call over to watch the baby. (My mother-in-law has offered to do this but she knows that we are not entirely comfortable with this because of her mobility issues, and somewhat because her cognition slips here and there. She does provide me with great help every week or so, but it only allows me to get things done around the house since we don't leave Mini-Me alone with her.)
I haven't been able to get back to sleep after mid-night nursing. Since I am at my parents' house, I am not too worried about it because I know I can get a nap later in the day while they play with the baby. I am sitting here thinking about how much I am yearning for family support when I am at home. Not only am I sad that my parents and my darling offspring can't be closer, but I do envy my friends who get to go to the gym whenever they want because they have a cadre of people to call over to watch the baby. (My mother-in-law has offered to do this but she knows that we are not entirely comfortable with this because of her mobility issues, and somewhat because her cognition slips here and there. She does provide me with great help every week or so, but it only allows me to get things done around the house since we don't leave Mini-Me alone with her.)
Monday, February 18, 2008
Good things about visiting Grandma and Grandpa
* being able to eat with both hands
* being able to crochet, which requires both hands
* being able to nap without worrying about whether I can hear the baby
* not having to change messy diapers
* having home-cooked meals and not having to clean up!
* getting treated to a massage with childcare
* being back in Dunkin' Donuts territory
So far we have had a great visit, despite arriving at 6 AM after a red-eye flight. Mini-Me was in a terrific mood, all smiles for my parents, and dutifully performed all her favorite tricks (rolling over, giggling with us, putting her pacifier in her mouth all by herself). I'm not entirely sure how she will know it is nighttime because she took a five-hour nap after the flight and slept until 1. Just when the sleep problems were starting to get ironed out...
* being able to crochet, which requires both hands
* being able to nap without worrying about whether I can hear the baby
* not having to change messy diapers
* having home-cooked meals and not having to clean up!
* getting treated to a massage with childcare
* being back in Dunkin' Donuts territory
So far we have had a great visit, despite arriving at 6 AM after a red-eye flight. Mini-Me was in a terrific mood, all smiles for my parents, and dutifully performed all her favorite tricks (rolling over, giggling with us, putting her pacifier in her mouth all by herself). I'm not entirely sure how she will know it is nighttime because she took a five-hour nap after the flight and slept until 1. Just when the sleep problems were starting to get ironed out...
The Sleep Saga, Part Two
After a miserable week of experimenting, I have come to the conclusion that Mini-Me is too young for any sort of tough-it-out sleep training. She gets upset, then ramps up to full-on hysterical and can't calm down on her own. I read Harvey Karp's stuff about sleep in Happiest Baby on the Block and we're back to swaddling, cuddling, and nursing before naps and bedtime. The changes we are making right now: trying to catch naptime earlier, before we get to the eye-rubbing cranky stage, and putting Mini-Me in her crib while she is still just slightly awake rather than completely conked out.
So far so good. For the last few days she has been able to fall asleep in her crib by herself for naps, and when that doesn't work we use the swing. We are visiting my parents this week, and she went down for three naps today, all in an unfamiliar crib, and did fine. I am crossing my fingers that this is a turning point.
So far so good. For the last few days she has been able to fall asleep in her crib by herself for naps, and when that doesn't work we use the swing. We are visiting my parents this week, and she went down for three naps today, all in an unfamiliar crib, and did fine. I am crossing my fingers that this is a turning point.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I only have eyes for you
In today's mail there were two envelopes from my parents. One was a birthday card for my husband. The other was a valentine for Mini-Me. I got nuthin'.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Graduation
So, Mini-Me has graduated from the 5 S's and now she resists swaddling and fusses every time she is left alone and suspects that she is supposed to nap. I had aspirations of never ever using the "cry-it-out" method of sleep training, but here we are. I planned to use the morning nap time to mow the lawn, so I wouldn't have to sit here listening to her wail, but I can't bring myself to go out of earshot just yet. I tell myself I am helping her learn a new skill. Plan to read Babywise as soon as possible to learn the how-to's of getting Mini-Me on a more structured feeding and napping schedule. As I was lying in bed at 3 in the morning waiting for baby to fall asleep, I thought of all the things I would be able to do if I knew I would have a given block of time when I was not on duty with her, whether because she was sleeping or because I was letting her work naptime out for herself.
I told my mother what I was doing, expecting a critical answer about letting Mini-Me cry, and she told me that when she and Dad did that with me, she sat outside my door and cried listening to me.
I told my mother what I was doing, expecting a critical answer about letting Mini-Me cry, and she told me that when she and Dad did that with me, she sat outside my door and cried listening to me.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Missing the Old Me Part 4
So, I had to suck it in and I have an unattractive muffin top, but I was able to get into my favorite prepregnancy jeans this evening! According to the scale I weigh the same, but with climbing and occasional workouts at home, maybe I'm finally replacing the fat with a bit of muscle. And I remember the midwives telling me to add four pounds onto my prepregnancy weight to account for increase in breast tissue.
The numbers on the scale don't really matter that much to me, but it is really nice to be able to wear my old clothes. I still have a pile of "wish clothes", mostly pants that don't fit yet, but the jeans are a start!
The numbers on the scale don't really matter that much to me, but it is really nice to be able to wear my old clothes. I still have a pile of "wish clothes", mostly pants that don't fit yet, but the jeans are a start!
Friday, February 1, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sleep
I read in some book that pediatricians define "sleeping through the night" as sleeping for five hours... impressive for a newborn, perhaps, but not nearly acceptable to most healthy human beings. (They also said that many parents who say their babies sleep through the night don't realize that the babies wake up and put themselves back to sleep without waking the parents up.)
Midnight to 7:30 AM (and counting), though, that's something... not a bad accomplishment for a four-month-old!
Midnight to 7:30 AM (and counting), though, that's something... not a bad accomplishment for a four-month-old!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
How weekends work
Papa has been traveling a lot these last few months, and this weekend, after an entire week away, he was home and eager to spend time with me and the baby. By Sunday, I found I needed a little down time, so I was looking forward to a little gardening and sun while the baby napped in the afternoon. Papa kept trying to change our plan, always suggesting some activity that involved waking the baby up - going for a walk together, running errands together, etc. We bickered about it, and I thought more about the meaning of naptime while I was deadheading the roses and Papa was off doing errands.
When he came back, what I explained to him was this: he has a job which is basically Monday-Friday. On the weekends, he could catch up on work if he was behind, but typically it was his time to plan as he wished. This is why he gets annoyed at me for nagging him to mow the lawn on the weekends.
My job taking care of Mini-Me is 24/7, and my "weekends" are scattered about in 1-3 hour chunks while she naps. This is why I was so opposed to waking her up to run errands - not only was I doing housework during her naptime (ie working on the weekend) but I would be giving up the day's last chunk of time where I could decide for myself how I wanted to spend it.
Papa seemed nonplussed when I explained this to him, as if it wasn't new information for him, but it was a good metaphor for me to consider, and made me feel less guilty about goofing off playing computer games during naptime instead of folding laundry.
When he came back, what I explained to him was this: he has a job which is basically Monday-Friday. On the weekends, he could catch up on work if he was behind, but typically it was his time to plan as he wished. This is why he gets annoyed at me for nagging him to mow the lawn on the weekends.
My job taking care of Mini-Me is 24/7, and my "weekends" are scattered about in 1-3 hour chunks while she naps. This is why I was so opposed to waking her up to run errands - not only was I doing housework during her naptime (ie working on the weekend) but I would be giving up the day's last chunk of time where I could decide for myself how I wanted to spend it.
Papa seemed nonplussed when I explained this to him, as if it wasn't new information for him, but it was a good metaphor for me to consider, and made me feel less guilty about goofing off playing computer games during naptime instead of folding laundry.
Perspectives
We all went to a housewarming party this weekend, hosted by the new neighbors across the street. One of the couple is a pediatric psychiatrist, so many of the guests were work colleagues - NICU nurses and so on. It was telling, because usually people who meet Mini-Me comment about how cute she is, how alert she is, or something like that. Almost universally, people at this party came up with comments like "Oh, she looks so healthy!" and "Her cheeks are so nice and rosy." Another case of what you see is based on where you're sitting...
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Missing the Old Me, Part Three
About four years ago, I quit a stressful job and started a full-time life of self-employment. I also started going to kickboxing classes, climbing a few times a week, and developed a crush on a cute trainer who encouraged me to start hitting the grown-up weights. Eventually I went back to my roots as a martial artist, sparring with him a few times a week. I loved feeling sore and slightly battered, I loved knowing that I was lifting more weights than many of the guys I saw at the gym, and I was totally badass.
I gained 38 pounds during pregnancy. Twenty-five pounds magically melted away, between the birth itself and the first six weeks of postpartum. And I've been stuck at 156, twelve pounds heavier than I started and twenty-four pounds heavier than my best fighting weight.
Post-partum has humbled me. I remember going to a mother's group when Mini-Me was six weeks ago, wearing maternity jeans and noticing that another mother, with a ten-week-old infant, was wearing maternity jeans also. "Not me," I thought to myself, "I'm going to be in my old clothes quicker than that."
I let my frustration slip at Pilates class last week, when the instructor gave me that old line about "it takes nine months to gain the weight, give yourself nine months to lose it". "Not me," I retorted jokingly, "that's fine for everyone else."
I started recording workouts on the DVR, and today I got a few sets of dumbbells at Target and actually started working out. Mini-Me was amused for about 30 minutes while she sat in her swing watching me jump around the room like an idiot, but finally I put her down for a late-evening nap (bad idea) and did two more programs.
I did feel like an idiot. I'm sure I did look stupid. But I also did work up a sweat, and I did feel muscles burning. I'll keep it up for a week and see how I feel. The routine I did tonight is one episode of "Body Electric" and two episodes of "Denise Austin's Daily Workout", skipping commercials. It's dorky, but if it works (and no one sees me doing it) I don't care.
I gained 38 pounds during pregnancy. Twenty-five pounds magically melted away, between the birth itself and the first six weeks of postpartum. And I've been stuck at 156, twelve pounds heavier than I started and twenty-four pounds heavier than my best fighting weight.
Post-partum has humbled me. I remember going to a mother's group when Mini-Me was six weeks ago, wearing maternity jeans and noticing that another mother, with a ten-week-old infant, was wearing maternity jeans also. "Not me," I thought to myself, "I'm going to be in my old clothes quicker than that."
I let my frustration slip at Pilates class last week, when the instructor gave me that old line about "it takes nine months to gain the weight, give yourself nine months to lose it". "Not me," I retorted jokingly, "that's fine for everyone else."
I started recording workouts on the DVR, and today I got a few sets of dumbbells at Target and actually started working out. Mini-Me was amused for about 30 minutes while she sat in her swing watching me jump around the room like an idiot, but finally I put her down for a late-evening nap (bad idea) and did two more programs.
I did feel like an idiot. I'm sure I did look stupid. But I also did work up a sweat, and I did feel muscles burning. I'll keep it up for a week and see how I feel. The routine I did tonight is one episode of "Body Electric" and two episodes of "Denise Austin's Daily Workout", skipping commercials. It's dorky, but if it works (and no one sees me doing it) I don't care.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Travel tips
Lessons learned from this weekend's trip to Minneapolis:
* even if the baby feels warm enough, her face will probably get chapped outdoors when it is below freezing all the time
* if you suspect she will need a swing in order to sleep properly, deal with it ahead of time rather than slogging through 24 hours of fussing and bad sleep before hitting Craig's List to get a used swing
* pick a nursing spot before you go to bed and learn where all the light switches are so you're not stumbling down unfamiliar stairs with a squirmy baby in the dark
* lace-up boots are hard enough at the airport security line, but even more difficult when you're wearing the baby in a sling
* pre-boarding the airplane rocks!
* even if the baby feels warm enough, her face will probably get chapped outdoors when it is below freezing all the time
* if you suspect she will need a swing in order to sleep properly, deal with it ahead of time rather than slogging through 24 hours of fussing and bad sleep before hitting Craig's List to get a used swing
* pick a nursing spot before you go to bed and learn where all the light switches are so you're not stumbling down unfamiliar stairs with a squirmy baby in the dark
* lace-up boots are hard enough at the airport security line, but even more difficult when you're wearing the baby in a sling
* pre-boarding the airplane rocks!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Parenting goals 2008
Lately I've been hooked on a blog called To-Do List, and the most recent posting is someone's list of parenting aspirations for 2008:
http://todolistblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/parenting-aspirations-2008.html
http://todolistblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/parenting-aspirations-2008.html
Good sleeping
For three nights in a row now, Mini-Me has slept in a pattern I'm growing really fond of: five hours between 10 PM and 3 AM and another five hours between 4 AM and 9 AM. The hour in between is just the right amount of time for feeding her, changing her diaper, rocking her back to sleep, and pumping breastmilk before I go back to bed. Plus she's been taking a good nap in her swing every morning that runs from one to three hours. I feel like a brand new person.
Yesterday I ran into a father with a six-week-old baby in a bookstore. I asked him how it was going, and he shook his head. "Not well," he said. "We're dying from lack of sleep." I remember a turning point when my body suddenly started dealing well with the amount of sleep I was getting. It's not that we all get enough sleep, but it's astounding how little sleep we seem to need after a period of adjustment...
Yesterday I ran into a father with a six-week-old baby in a bookstore. I asked him how it was going, and he shook his head. "Not well," he said. "We're dying from lack of sleep." I remember a turning point when my body suddenly started dealing well with the amount of sleep I was getting. It's not that we all get enough sleep, but it's astounding how little sleep we seem to need after a period of adjustment...
Monday, January 14, 2008
Teddy Bears' Picnic
Mini-Me has been really into cheery songs lately, which helps to cheer me up but makes me completely manic after a week of having "Teddy Bears' Picnic" stuck in my head.
Our other favorites: Accentuate the Positive and The Ballad of Casey McPhee.
If you go into the woods today, you're in for a big surprise.
If you go into the woods today, you better go in disguise.
'Cause every bear that ever there was
Is gathered there for certain because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
If you go into the woods today, you'd better not go alone.
It's lovely out in the woods today, but you're better off safe at home.
'Cause every bear that ever there was
Is gather there together because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
Picnic time for teddy bears!
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today.
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them picnic on their holiday.
See them gaily gad about!
They love to play and shout, they never have any cares.
At six o'clock their mommies and daddies come take them home to bed
Because they're tired little teddy bears.
Our other favorites: Accentuate the Positive and The Ballad of Casey McPhee.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Baby Math: percentiles
I overheard a comment in Mommy/Baby Pilates class this week that made the math teacher in me want to cry:
"Well, the pediatrician seemed worried - he said our baby is at the 50th percentile for weight. I don't know if we can get her up to 100%, but we're sure going to do our best!"
I was so proud of my husband, who is not-so-much a math geek but understood why this was both sad and funny when I told him about it.
Ok, so just to clarify about percents and percentiles:
percent describes a proportion compared to the number 100. If you took a test and got half the questions right, you would have 50%, whether it meant scoring 10/20, 4/8, or 125/250.
percentile describes a value compared to a normal distribution. If a baby is at 20th %ile in weight, it means that it is *normal* for 20 out of 100 babies to weigh the same or less at that age. A baby whose weight is at the 50th %ile is exactly at the population average for babies that age. And a mother who succeeds in fattening her child up the 100th %ile now has a kid who is heavier than *every* other baby that age!
"Well, the pediatrician seemed worried - he said our baby is at the 50th percentile for weight. I don't know if we can get her up to 100%, but we're sure going to do our best!"
I was so proud of my husband, who is not-so-much a math geek but understood why this was both sad and funny when I told him about it.
Ok, so just to clarify about percents and percentiles:
percent describes a proportion compared to the number 100. If you took a test and got half the questions right, you would have 50%, whether it meant scoring 10/20, 4/8, or 125/250.
percentile describes a value compared to a normal distribution. If a baby is at 20th %ile in weight, it means that it is *normal* for 20 out of 100 babies to weigh the same or less at that age. A baby whose weight is at the 50th %ile is exactly at the population average for babies that age. And a mother who succeeds in fattening her child up the 100th %ile now has a kid who is heavier than *every* other baby that age!
Riddle me this:
How does a less-than-12 pound creature generate an entire load of laundry in under 45 minutes? Why, by spitting up all over herself, Mama, and her blankets... twice!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Mini-Me's first Christmas
We traveled across the country with Mini-Me, and it wasn't that bad. I recommend getting an aisle seat near the back - the plane will be emptier at the back, and there is better access to flight attendants and bathrooms. The changing table in the airplane beats any I've seen in a restaurant so far. (I'd like to start a review website, similar to Yelp.com, that focuses just on the baby-friendliness of restaurants. In general I've been positively surprised by the attitudes of waitstaff and negatively surprised by the condition/lack of changing space in the restrooms.)Mini-Me was having a bad reflux day when we left for our red-eye flight, so she'd already spit up on one outfit and two bibs before we even got to the airport. She arrived at my parents' house at 6 AM, cheerful but soggy and sour-smelling. My mother plopped her right in the kitchen sink for the first of many baths that week. (My mother seemed a little obsessed with the baby being clean; my father confirms she was this neurotic with me and my sister too.) So the baby finished up the week very clean but a little chapped.
It was interesting watching Mini-Me train my parents over the course of the week. My father emerged as the more intuitive soother of the pair of them, and my mother took some cues from me and from him so that by the end of the week, they were both great with Mini-Me in awake mode and overtired mode. My mother was especially good at eliciting talking and cooing. Toward the end of the week, my husband and I left the baby with them and went out for dinner just the two of us, which hadn't happened since Mini-Me was born. We had fun, but I was distracted and anxious about how things were going at home, so we only stayed out a few hours. We were all grateful to be back home in our usual routine after a week away, but Mini-Me was a champ with all the schlepping around and in all the flight wasn't that much harder than pre-baby.
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